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Off topic: Completely frivolous thread
Auteur du fil: Tom in London

P.L.F.Persio  Identity Verified
Pays-Bas
Local time: 11:44
Membre (2010)
anglais vers italien
+ ...
My Brief Stint as an International Woman of Mystery – Part III, b Feb 14

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here's my small treat for you.

The four of us sat down to dinner, to enjoy a wonderful array of Russian and Central Asian delicacies, such as shashliks, blinis, caviar, salads, culminating – rather incongruously but deliciously – in a whole tray of homemade pastéis de nata, custard tarts sent to Ms. Lebedev by one of her most devoted admirers, the cultural attaché of the Portuguese Embassy.

Ms. Lebedev encouraged me to drink, while
... See more
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Here's my small treat for you.

The four of us sat down to dinner, to enjoy a wonderful array of Russian and Central Asian delicacies, such as shashliks, blinis, caviar, salads, culminating – rather incongruously but deliciously – in a whole tray of homemade pastéis de nata, custard tarts sent to Ms. Lebedev by one of her most devoted admirers, the cultural attaché of the Portuguese Embassy.

Ms. Lebedev encouraged me to drink, while trying to keep Pyotr the driver and the bottle of Armenian brandy as far as possible from each other. Then she picked up her guitar, and we all joined her gorgeous contralto voice in singing old romances and songs.

After a heartfelt rendition of Dark is the night – a sad and nostalgic war song from the 1943 film Two Soldiers – that had moved us all to tears, especially Pyotr the driver, by then completely drunk, Ms. Lebedev ended the great evening with panache, singing us one of her evergreens – The Sassy Sailor* – from her first, eponymous film.

The story behind this 1960's movie is quite remarkable. It was meant to be a musical for all the family and – like most of those films – had a rather preposterous preamble.
Little girl Sasha was born during the war in a family with 4 sons. As a result of a bureaucratic mishap, her full name Aleksandra has been misspelt as Aleksandr, and this makes her a boy in the eyes of the State. And so, at the age of 18, young Sasha is called up for the military service, and is assigned to the Navy. The ridiculous plot thickens when Sasha joins her unit and, instead of shaving her head, they give her a pixie cut hairstyle that makes her eyes and face even more strikingly beautiful.

The other guys are not happy though. They think that, what with her being a girl, Sasha will avoid all the graft that being a Soviet sailor entails. They play practical jokes on her, but she stays unfussed, works hard, plays harder, and saves the day during a naval exercise gone wrong, finally becoming one of the boys.

They all sail to an unnamed Black Sea port, where an unnamed hostile foreign power tries to do unspeakable things to their ship, but Sasha and her crew, all hands on deck, manage triumphantly to send those pesky foreigners back to their hostile Country.
Sasha is finally discharged and goes back to her village, where she achieves her childhood dream of becoming a Math teacher.

The action is peppered with cheeky, dazzling musical numbers, purposefully meant to distract the audience from the sheer silliness of the plot. The censors didn't notice anything untoward – no female nudity, no swearing, no love stories that could have led to physical expressions of affection (unless you count the crush that the Admiral's daughter develops for Sasha – thinking she's a young man – promptly nipped in the bud by an agnition, with Sasha giving her a similar pixie haircut to cheer her up) – but they totally overlooked the movie's subtle yet clear homosexual undertones.

When someone finally noticed them, it was too late to do anything about it: the film had become a huge success; every child all over the Country wanted a Sassy Sailor costume; even the State tobacco company The Gloriously Glowing Red Tip** had produced a new cigarette pack, featuring the silhouette of a strapping sailor, uncannily prescient of Tom of Finland's men; all the songs were by then popular instant classics, especially the following one, quickly translated into the languages of the other 14 Republics of the Union, then in Polish, German, Hungarian, Czech, Slovak, Bulgarian, Mongolian, Finnish, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Chinese, and now in a clumsy sort of English, courtesy of Yours truly. Enjoy!

The Sassy Sailor's Song

Hello sailor! Where have you been?
I've sailed the seven seas,
Together with me mateys.
The fun is never-ending,
Sailing the seven seas.

Up, up that mast, gung-ho!
Sailing the seven seas,
Cruising with gay abandon,
Long nights, but who's complaining,
Sailing the seven seas.

Hello sailor! Have you come back for good?
A sailor's home's the sea.
I bid you farewell, girl.
Up, up that mast, gung-ho!
Sailing the seven seas.


Before going to sleep, Katya was showing me her extremely stylish outfits and fabulous evening gowns in her room, when she suddenly threw them on the floor, flashed me a naughty smile and whispered in a husky voice: “I was supposed to spend the night with Humpalot, but he's not there and I'm horny. I haven't had a sleepover with the girls in a long time. Would you mind terribly joining me in my bed?”

“Not at all, Ms. Lebedev. It would be an honour, a privilege, and a pleasure.”

“Please, darling, I'm going to devour you in a minute. Let's be on first-name terms.”

* Song and movie are entirely fictional.
** Ditto for the tobacco company.
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Zibow Retailleau
Chris S
Mervyn Henderson
Barbara Carrara
 

Chris S  Identity Verified
Royaume-Uni
suédois vers anglais
+ ...
Lol Feb 14

Gloriously Glowing Red Tip?! What are you like?

Little known fact about Wales: We have our own version of Valentine’s Day called Dydd Santes Dwynwen, St. Dwynwen’s Day, on 25 January

Dwynwen was a princess up in North Wales back in the fifth century who fell in love with a young man but was forbidden by her father from marrying him so an angel gave her a magic potion and all kinds of daft shit happen
... See more
Gloriously Glowing Red Tip?! What are you like?

Little known fact about Wales: We have our own version of Valentine’s Day called Dydd Santes Dwynwen, St. Dwynwen’s Day, on 25 January

Dwynwen was a princess up in North Wales back in the fifth century who fell in love with a young man but was forbidden by her father from marrying him so an angel gave her a magic potion and all kinds of daft shit happens as it always used to in those days, and said young man is turned to ice and she gets three wishes and ends up as a hermit, as you do. One of her wishes was for all lovers’ dreams to come true, and as we all know that is exactly what now happens with lovers’ dreams, every time. And all thanks to Dwynwen.

So with an extra Valentine’s Day three weeks before the main event., you might think that Wales is a nation of particularly passionate lovers. Especially if, like me, you lived next door to Sir Tom Jones. But no. Like all Welsh traditions, it’s a fairly modern thing.

Cynics say that, like Christmas and birthdays, it was invented by a sinister cartel of card, chocolate and flower companies. I prefer to think more charitably that it was dreamed up by someone who wanted to give us forgetful types a more sporting chance of remembering at least one of them.

So many times my many lovers have whispered in my ear “Close your eyes” (oh, this could be good) and “Hold out your hands” (oh yes, I’ve been such a naughty boy), only to be followed by the dreaded “Happy anniversary, darling!” (oh **** no, have I really forgotten again?). I guess if I had half a brain, I’d go out and buy something there and then to keep in stock for the following year.

Anyway, I hope everyone is being showered with roses and chocolate today, and may all your dreams come true.

[Edited at 2021-02-14 08:48 GMT]
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P.L.F.Persio
Mervyn Henderson
Zibow Retailleau
Dan Lucas
 

Baran Keki  Identity Verified
Turquie
Local time: 12:44
Membre
anglais vers turc
Bravo! Feb 15

Chris S wrote:

And I'm going to let you in on my secret: Charge a really high price.

But how do I get away with it?

Well, in a fit of generosity, I have decided to step off my luxury yacht and share all for a limited period.

Sign up now for my "Earn a Million" programme!

Early-bird offer of just $1000 for a one hour Zoom call. Places limited to 1000.

(There you go, Matthias. I think the maths is rechts.)


This is one of the best news I've heard in a long time! It's indeed a much welcome breath of fresh air among all these negativity we see on these forums to hear that somebody's actually upped their game and gone and achieved the unimaginable!
Instead of whinging about language pairs, translation agencies and attributing people's success to luck, and, more importantly, instead of giving in to fatalism and defeatism, you grafted, toiled and worked like a donkey and showed us that making "$1000 an hour" is an entirely achievable goal!
You're an inspiration to us all mate! Good on you!
Now, if you'll allow me I'd like to ask you a couple of questions:
1- How much of that income has come from renting (sharing) your yacht and "earn a million" programme?
2- Did you have any professional memberships, such as British Mariners Association or Painters and Dockers? What about tax stuff?
Keep up the good work!


Chris S
Mervyn Henderson
 

Chris S  Identity Verified
Royaume-Uni
suédois vers anglais
+ ...
Lol Feb 15

Baran Keki wrote:
What about tax stuff?

You should know by now, Baran, that tax is something poor people pay.


Matthias Brombach
Baran Keki
Zibow Retailleau
Kevin Fulton
P.L.F.Persio
Mervyn Henderson
Barbara Carrara
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Espagne
Local time: 11:44
espagnol vers anglais
+ ...
Gloriously Glowing Red Tip Feb 16

... and "cruising with gay abandon".

Priceless! I even asked PLF if she'd made up her titles and that song, because they seemed too classy and believable to have been made up, plus how the hell she had translated them from Russian in that case, but she had made them up herself!


Chris S
Barbara Carrara
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Espagne
Local time: 11:44
espagnol vers anglais
+ ...
Also, @Chris Feb 16

What you find out about Wales on here!

I'm sure you're making half of it up, like Portia, but still a class post!


P.L.F.Persio
 

P.L.F.Persio  Identity Verified
Pays-Bas
Local time: 11:44
Membre (2010)
anglais vers italien
+ ...
Happy International Women's Day! Mar 8

Best wishes to you all, dear female colleagues, and to all the women in the world!

For those of you who might think What about the menz!?, I hasten to add: "We love you, guys, you're great too. After all, you hold up half the sky."


expressisverbis
Baran Keki
Chris S
Mervyn Henderson
Matthias Brombach
Zibow Retailleau
 

expressisverbis
Portugal
Local time: 10:44
Membre (2015)
anglais vers portugais
+ ...
To all women in the world... Mar 8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhfWiU8wGCc

... and a thank you note to the amazing and real men in their lives.


Chris S
P.L.F.Persio
Mervyn Henderson
Matthias Brombach
Zibow Retailleau
Marina Monica Steinbach
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Espagne
Local time: 11:44
espagnol vers anglais
+ ...
Overhaul of levels? Mar 16

Following Tom's little outburst today on the "Appropriate action to be taken ..." thread, I've been trying to decide which level it was, but I just can't.

As you can see below, I've brought up the original definitions of Tominlondoning Levels 1 to 5 from this thread (15 October). It's either 3 or 4, I think. But it's the "entire paragraphs" that bothers me in Level 3. I have a feeling this is really Level 4, but perhaps my original definition was too hasty, and perhaps "Entire parag
... See more
Following Tom's little outburst today on the "Appropriate action to be taken ..." thread, I've been trying to decide which level it was, but I just can't.

As you can see below, I've brought up the original definitions of Tominlondoning Levels 1 to 5 from this thread (15 October). It's either 3 or 4, I think. But it's the "entire paragraphs" that bothers me in Level 3. I have a feeling this is really Level 4, but perhaps my original definition was too hasty, and perhaps "Entire paragraphs" deserves to be removed from Level 3, because nobody really needs entire paragraphs to register their annoyance.

I'm also wondering if Levels 6 and 7 require definitions too:


Level 1 - Just messing. Very few words employed. Little or no annoyance shown.
Level 2 - Slightly peeved, but still half-hearted. Perhaps a line or two. Some no-nonsense language.
Level 3 - Outright annoyance. Entire paragraphs. Language now angry and sarcastic.
Level 4 - Full-blown syndrome, with all caution thrown to the winds. Language highly sarcastic and challenging.
Level 5 - Same as Level 4, but will not let it lie, and Level 4 will be applied continuously throughout the day/week/month in successive posts.

What do you think? Should I rewrite the levels? Tom? Should we organise a kind of round table and vote on it? Maybe ProZ would lend us their quick poll counter.


[Edited at 2021-03-16 16:06 GMT]
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expressisverbis
Chris S
Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
 

Chris S  Identity Verified
Royaume-Uni
suédois vers anglais
+ ...
And breathe... Mar 16

Mervyn wrote:
Maybe ProZ would lend us their quick poll counter.

I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Which I should probably have done earlier at the local surgery having my blood clot injected. I haven’t been that close to that many people for over a year.

I said to the doctor I was surprised to have had the call yet given my youth and virility. He said I must have been bumped up the list for a special reason.

Not sure whether that’s my long history of halitosis and incontinence, or having to elbow my way through my orange neighbour’s rabid admirers every time I leave the house. Or maybe I have been chosen for a Higher Purpose🤷‍♂️


Zibow Retailleau
P.L.F.Persio
expressisverbis
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
Espagne
Local time: 11:44
espagnol vers anglais
+ ...
Maybe ... Mar 16

... Tom bumped you up (I mean Tom next door, of course). Maybe he reckons if you're safe as houses, he could include you in a cunning plan (I'm sure there's a laugh in that one somewhere, but I just can't put it together right now) to filter off some of the hot-to-trot tottie arriving at his house day and night. That would explain his Radox salts tip, too.

expressisverbis
Chris S
 

P.L.F.Persio  Identity Verified
Pays-Bas
Local time: 11:44
Membre (2010)
anglais vers italien
+ ...
Knicker throwing- how it all started Apr 4

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/apr/03/this-much-i-know-sir-tom-jones-the-knicker-throwing-started-in-new-york-in-1968

expressisverbis
Mervyn Henderson
Chris S
 

expressisverbis
Portugal
Local time: 10:44
Membre (2015)
anglais vers portugais
+ ...
The world’s worst translator Apr 5

I decided to start the week with this video.
I hope you have a good laugh. (El jefe is a Portuguese actor).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foT9rsHmS24

I enjoyed reading the article about Chris' neighbour.
His life was not easy.
Thanks, Persio!

[Edited at 2021-04-05 10:04 GMT]


Mervyn Henderson
P.L.F.Persio
Baran Keki
Marina Monica Steinbach
Matthias Brombach
Chris S
QHE
 

Marina Monica Steinbach
États-Unis
Local time: 05:44
Membre (2011)
anglais vers allemand
Seven languages? Well I can do that! Apr 6

Here is the second-worst translator:

Seven languages? Well, I can do that!


[Edited at 2021-04-06 01:40 GMT]


P.L.F.Persio
Chris S
Matthias Brombach
expressisverbis
Mervyn Henderson
 

Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
Allemagne
Local time: 11:44
Membre (2007)
néerlandais vers allemand
+ ...
Those things ... Apr 6

expressisverbis wrote:

I decided to start the week with this video.
I hope you have a good laugh. (El jefe is a Portuguese actor).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foT9rsHmS24


... happen (as in the video) when you (quote) "NEVER ask the client!"*

* https://www.proz.com/forum/translation_theory_and_practice/350182-never_ask_the_client.html


Chris S
P.L.F.Persio
expressisverbis
Mervyn Henderson
Angie Garbarino
 
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